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STMI Conference ‘Peoples’ Premiership Previews, Fixtures Forecasts & Form

Barnet Torquay United,  FC Halifax;  Bristol Rovers, Woking FC & Gateshead lead the pack with Macclesfield Town, Forest Green Rovers and Eastleigh chasing.  Can you smell it? ‘Yes indeedy’  Saturday is coming so it is time for the STMI Peoples Premiership preview of the division where two up and two down continues to survive and thrive. Even Houdini would not fancy the odds of escaping successfully, so no wonder most chairman can pell an orange in their pocket without wasting a drop.  Then there are those by the trapdoor catching a less than designer scent of something different. Beware, as the chairman’s axe gets sharper just as the shadows and nights get longer and darker.

Thanks for reading Neil Gentleman-Hobbs

Go on get down to a game this weekend witness the ultimate and only cheap antidote to reality TV…..  the People’s Premiership is the peoples game in the flesh.

Vanarama Conference logo.png Barnet go to Forest Green Rovers with both sides in fine form. Even Mad Dog got all misty eyed and proud as his Bees stung Altrincham 5-0.  In truth they were lucky to get out of the Hive alive. The Green army methinks will be a sterner test after winning at Dartford 2-1, drawing 2-2 with high flying Eastleigh and giving Aspin’s Halifax a 2-0 headache. But how to cope with the buzzing bees who last week did enough even to please a not so smarting Martin?  A win for the Bees looks likely but we feel a high scoring draw could also be on the cards.

Vanarama Conference logo.png Torquay are feeling so lucky they could win a bet on two flyies crawling up a wall blindfold.  The trip to bottom club Telford should be a brisk breeze for The Gulls after the Bucks fell five-nil at home to Halifax.  Liam Watson has tried both carrot and stick in recent weeks, our tip is to park the bus and have the club Chaplin driving.

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Vanarama Conference logo.pngWoking, hardly choking after defeats at Torquay and Bristol Rovers,  sit fourth ahead of a less than home banker against Kidderminster. With the squad safe from the financial vultures for now the Harriers beat Altrincham 4-0 before crash landing 1-0 into the aft of the Grimsby trawler. The Fishy foe have looked high and low for a striker but at least they got their Oates. The Barnsley midfield loanee landed one to floor the Harriers on his début. With Chester at home its time for Grimsby to fish not cut bait. Chester of course are on a high having just beaten Wrexham in the bubble derby. That’s the lively England v Wales affair requiring 1 policeman for every 19 fans.  At least someone is getting the overtime.

Vanarama Conference logo.pngGateshead are a club on the up. Crowds are up 60% they have more strikers than a Swan vesta factory and, Gary Mills a manager who will know just how to pepper the Shots. Aldershot beat Lincoln 1-0 last week but that was a battle of two teams on a failing form that ex-Fulham Felix would laugh at.  The Imps host Macclesfield,  just the point and one place off the play-offs.  Its all up the Cathedral on the morrow to kiss the Imp then.

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Vanarama Conference logo.pngBristol Rovers can also rise to a play-off position with a trip to Southport who have lost three on the spin without scoring. Even Alfreton beat them 2-0 which would have even the sanest manager chewing at his straight-jacket. But Port are a hard bunch – so hard some say Viagra flows through their veins – and Rovers will need plenty of gas in a battle of attrition in the North-West.

Vanarama Conference logo.png Wrexham in tenth after the Chester defeat will need to beat an unbeaten Eastleigh side who just keep on drawing games. Either side could jump into the play-offs if they win and results elsewhere go in their favour. Wrexham could not believe the defeat in the derby at Chester Live  on BT this week. It was the old adage of not taking your chances, but Kevin Wilkin will have the Dragons breathing fire this weekend.

 

Conference Fixtures
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Saturday 27th September 2014
Away Win AFC Telford United v Torquay United
Home Win Altrincham v Welling United
Away Win Braintree Town v FC Halifax Town
Score Draw Dover Athletic v Alfreton Town
Score Draw Forest Green Rovers v Barnet
Home Win Gateshead v Aldershot Town
Home Win Grimsby Town v Chester
Home Win Lincoln City v Macclesfield Town
Home Win Nuneaton Town v Dartford
Away Win Southport v Bristol Rovers
Score Draw Woking v Kidderminster Harriers
Home Win Wrexham v Eastleigh
 All games  KO at 15:00 this Super Saturday

 

Current Form – Last 6 Games

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Pos Team Pts F A GD Pos Team Pts F A GD
1 Torquay 18 14 1 13 13 Forest Green 8 7 6 1
2 Bristol Rvs 15 11 6 5 14 Welling United 8 7 7 0
3 Barnet 13 14 4 10 15 Dartford 7 8 9 -1
4 Braintree Town 12 10 4 6 16 Grimsby 7 7 8 -1
5 Woking 12 7 5 2 17 Chester 7 6 7 -1
6 Macclesfield 11 8 3 5 18 Aldershot 7 5 7 -2
7 Gateshead 11 10 6 4 19 Nuneaton Town 7 5 10 -5
8 Alfreton Town 10 8 7 1 20 Altrincham 5 7 16 -9
9 Wrexham 10 7 6 1 21 Dover Athletic 3 5 10 -5
10 Kidderminster 9 7 5 2 22 Lincoln 3 7 14 -7
11 Eastleigh 9 10 10 0 23 Southport 3 2 11 -9
12 Halifax 8 9 6 3 24 Telford United 1 7 20 -13

 

Conference Premier Table
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P W D L F A +/- Pts
1 Barnet 11 8 1 2 28 6 +22 25
2 Torquay United 11 7 3 1 19 5 +14 24
3 FC Halifax Town 11 7 2 2 22 9 +13 23
4 Woking 11 6 3 2 18 9 +9 21
5 Gateshead 11 6 3 2 20 15 +5 21
6 Macclesfield Town 11 5 5 1 14 7 +7 20
7 Bristol Rovers 11 6 2 3 14 11 +3 20
8 Eastleigh 11 5 4 2 20 15 +5 19
9 Forest Green Rovers 11 5 4 2 14 9 +5 19
10 Wrexham 11 6 1 4 14 14 0 19
11 Braintree Town 11 6 0 5 18 11 +7 18
12 Kidderminster Harriers 11 5 3 3 13 7 +6 18
13 Grimsby Town 11 4 4 3 21 10 +11 16
14 Aldershot Town 11 4 3 4 12 11 +1 15
15 Lincoln City 11 4 1 6 16 21 -5 13
16 Chester 11 4 1 6 12 19 -7 13
17 Welling United 11 2 4 5 10 18 -8 10
18 Alfreton Town 11 3 1 7 11 25 -14 10
19 Dartford 11 2 3 6 10 17 -7 9
20 Southport 11 2 2 7 8 19 -11 8
21 Altrincham 11 2 2 7 12 25 -13 8
22 Nuneaton Town 11 2 2 7 5 18 -13 8
23 Dover Athletic 11 2 1 8 9 22 -13 7
24 AFC Telford United 11 0 3 8 13 30 -17 3

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STMI Conference Premier Match Reports, Results, Scorers, Crowds & Table

Five For Barnet  & FC Halifax; Torquay United,  Bristol Rovers, Macclesfield Town, Forest Green Rovers and Eastleigh all triumph yet again but Gateshead draw and must now Heed, for, despite those seven strikers on the books, the chasing pack are at the Gates of Geordieland the Noo.  Time to drink some real beer smerk some tabs and have a gander at today’s People’s Premiership…..that tarnished golden brown place where  jumpers for goalposts and goals seen through sepia, or should that be weepier, eyes are like London buses. Here footballers are real men and style, guile and a naughty step smile,  going hand in hand with all year facial hair not Movember bum-fluff or designer stubble – and if you get in their way there is gonna be trouble.

Thanks for reading Neil Gentleman-Hobbs

Vanarama Conference logo.png First to the Hive, with Mad-Dogs men, minus young MacDonald,  hitting Altrincham for five as Akinde grabs a first half hat-trick. Two were from the spot but the visitors did not know what hit them as the bees swarmed in sting, sting sting… etc etc.  (full report below) The Shaymen slayed Telford  5 nil too suggesting their manager may well pack all the players kit bags himself during Sunday training and burn their jock-straps to boot.  The Halifax début of Hattersley ( 2 today) almost put Smith’s volley, Boden’s flick and Marshall’s bullet in the shade (full report below).  The Gulls stay second a point and a single goal separating the goal difference with Halifax, sitting third after another two goals for and none conceded against Dover. Bristol Rovers, the loud and chests puffed proud, expanding gas, all 6,000 of them, can smell the play-offs wafting up their channel. Cunnington chimed early on three against in-form Woking then Marshall struck late, to shoot the sheriff in his normal nuke-em fashion. Ah the passion…….

Vanarama Conference logo.png Got your taste buds going?  Hopefully so and welcome to the STMI Vanarama Conference Premier Saturday wrap, with all the attendances scorers and match reports on every game in the People’s  Premiership. We thank you for your reads and salute every home and away fan that went today – long live the Conference and the grass roots game. Enjoy fellow football fans enjoy………

Vanarama Conference logo.png Click on result to the right of the results below for the match report.  

1582 Aldershot Town 1 0 Lincoln City FC Report
. B Williams 31 . . .
600 Alfreton Town 1 0 Nuneaton Town Report
. Mellor 62 . . .
1516 Barnet 5 0 Altrincham Report
. Luisma 12 Akinde 30 pen & 44 pen 45+4 Hoskins 49 , . . .
6028 Bristol Rovers 2 0 Woking Report
. Cunnington 3 Mansell 86 , . . .
1003 Dartford 1 2 Forest Green Rovers Report
. Cornhill 95 . . Marcus Kelly 56 Hughes 69 BBC Report
1131 Eastleigh 1 0 Braintree Town Report
. S Fleetwood 35 . . .
1519 FC Halifax Town 5 0 AFC Telford Utd Report
. A Smith 12 Hattersley 14 & 93 Boden 67 Marshall 86 . . .
2093 Kidderminster Harriers 0 1 Grimsby Town Report
. . . . Oates 85
1450 Macclesfield Town 3 0 Southport Report
. Turnbull 22 , Waterfall 9 & 42 . . .
2363 Torquay United 2 0 Dover Athletic Report
. Downes 35 Essam 91 og, . . .
536 Welling United 1 1 Gateshead FC Report
. Beautyman 5 . . Finnigan 50

Vanarama Conference logo.pngVanarama Conference Premier Table

P W D L F A +/- Pts
1 Barnet 11 8 1 2 28 6 +22 25
2 Torquay United 11 7 3 1 19 5 +14 24
3 FC Halifax Town 11 7 2 2 22 9 +13 23
4 Woking 11 6 3 2 18 9 +9 21
5 Gateshead 11 6 3 2 20 15 +5 21
6 Macclesfield Town 11 5 5 1 14 7 +7 20
7 Bristol Rovers 11 6 2 3 14 11 +3 20
8 Eastleigh 11 5 4 2 20 15 +5 19
9 Forest Green Rovers 11 5 4 2 14 9 +5 19
10 Wrexham 10 6 1 3 13 12 +1 19
11 Braintree Town 11 6 0 5 18 11 +7 18
12 Kidderminster Harriers 11 5 3 3 13 7 +6 18
13 Grimsby Town 11 4 4 3 21 10 +11 16
14 Aldershot Town 11 4 3 4 12 11 +1 15
15 Lincoln City 11 4 1 6 16 21 -5 13
16 Chester 10 3 1 6 10 18 -8 10
17 Welling United 11 2 4 5 10 18 -8 10
18 Alfreton Town 11 3 1 7 11 25 -14 10
19 Dartford 11 2 3 6 10 17 -7 9
20 Southport 11 2 2 7 8 19 -11 8
21 Altrincham 11 2 2 7 12 25 -13 8
22 Nuneaton Town 11 2 2 7 5 18 -13 8
23 Dover Athletic 11 2 1 8 9 22 -13 7
24 AFC Telford United 11 0 3 8 13 30 -17 3